Detaching From An Addict With Love

We strive to create content that is clear, concise, and easy to understand. “Put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others.” You won’t be able to help your partner if you can’t help yourself. Try to maintain your own self-care routines as much as possible. Saying “no” is an important first step toward change — for you, as well as for the addict. Understanding why you choose to behave in unhealthy ways is the key to making a change. For example, learning how to set and maintain appropriate boundaries is a very important skill.

How addiction can affect a household

• Stretching muscles and pushing tendons prompts the brain to release so-called pleasure chemicals, including dopamine and oxytocin.
• And at this point, what was once naturally rewarding ceases to be so, virtually guaranteeing that the person—no longer at choice—will need to turn to their addiction if they’re to experience any pleasure.
• When a person enters addiction treatment and the family embarks on the recovery journey, the sense of hope everyone feels can be exciting.
• If you try to care for someone before you care for yourself, you will likely become depleted and exhausted, which isn’t helpful for anyone.
• It’s also important to manage expectations for yourself and other family members.

Yet in the case of addiction, those feelings of sadness are often accompanied by anger and blame. When someone you care about is seemingly making the choice to maintain and feed their addiction, there can be a sense of helplessness in trying to fix the situation. You might spend hours feeling your way through “if onlys” or “maybes,” yet know in your heart that you are powerless over the addiction and your loved one’s situation. Addiction is a powerful disease, and it changes the way a person thinks and feels. So often when you’re loving someone with an addiction, you may feel as if you have the ability to change them, or if you just keep working at it hard enough they’ll love you enough to quit using drugs.

Overcoming Your Addiction

Spouses, siblings and parents of people with addictions often absorb many of the consequences of their loved one’s substance use. Many people have a hard time talking loving an addict openly about the behavior that’s harming them, so they say nothing. Family members can also become distant if they’re tired of fighting with their loved one.

Tips For Loving Someone With Addiction

Find 8 tips below for how to balance supporting the positive health behaviors of your partner, while also taking care of yourself. It has been said that the least favorite word for an addict to hear is “No.” When addicts are not ready to change, they become master manipulators in order to keep the addiction going. Their fear of stopping is so great that they will do just about anything to keep from having to be honest with themselves. Some of these manipulations include lying, cheating, blaming, raging and guilt-tripping others, as well as becoming depressed or developing other kinds of emotional or physical illnesses. Once you stop your enabling behaviors, you can then begin to truly help your loved one.

• The evaluation consists of 11 yes or no questions that are intended to be used as an informational tool to assess the severity and probability of a substance use disorder.
• These include, but are not limited to, cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, relapse prevention training, motivational interviewing and enhancement, contingency management, and medication.
• Yet, if delivered in a calm, meaningful, and respectful way, they can spur change; the possibility of loss of a valuable relationship often does lead a person to embark on recovery.
• If you really need help, and you just can’t ask, then pay someone to help you.

You also need to take care of your own physical and mental well-being. You can take time for yourself to do things you enjoy, and if you’re living with a drug addict or alcoholic, you should consider joining a support group. Getting the courage to leave someone with a substance use disorder is never easy, and it requires changing behaviors that you have engaged in for a long time. Before leaving someone struggling with addiction, you can try to get them to seek the help they need. Sometimes, stating your concerns and asking for them to get help can motivate a loved one to go to treatment.

How to lovingly detach from someone with substance use disorder